Caprican Conflict Archive
Empire Police confirm intended victims of Cleaver Assassination Plot
Posted on August 14, 2013The entire Political Bureau of the Ministry of Truth were just days away from falling victim to an elaborate assassination plot it has been revealed. The plot, foiled after the former Caprican ambassadors to the Empire succumbed under interrogation, […]
Mugshots of Caprican spies released amid shocking “burying the hatchet” revelation
Posted on August 13, 2013Prince Christian and Princess Grace were attempting to “bury the hatchet” in the skull of a prominent Legoland politician according to confessions from the two Caprican subversives the Intelligence Service has announced. A statement from the Mind Police explained […]
Empire Police interrogating Caprican royals after figs are arrested at embassy
Posted on August 12, 2013Members of the Caprican royal family, Prince Christian and Princess Grace, are this evening being interrogated by the Intelligence Service wing of the Empire Police. It is understood that the duo were arrested in Davidium this afternoon by members […]
Caprican First Minister begs forgiveness with sorrowful apology to the Empire
Posted on August 2, 2013The recently elected First Minister of the Caprican banana kinglet, Winston Spencer, has formally apologised to the Empire and its press in a speech to the country’s oldest zoological garden, the Eulenbourg. The bumbling minifig claimed his country had […]
Empire outlines demands to advert Cultural War with Capricas
Posted on June 19, 2013Following an open request made by the Capricas, the Government has provided a provisional list of requirements it is seeking from the Caprican State in order to advert what many believe is an approaching and near-inevitable “Cultural War”. A […]
Caprican agents responsible for Rolds’ murder confirms State’s Intelligence Service
Posted on June 14, 2013The Intelligence Service has revealed documentation and evidence pointing to Caprican state involvement in the 2011 kidnapping and murder of the Empire’s then-to-be ambassador to Kilimanlego, Hulex Rolds. Publishing 1000s of pages of documents, photographs and the transcripts of […]
Banana state has new pea-brained leader, hardfig Winston Spencer
Posted on May 20, 2013Despite international observers lamenting the lack of anti-corruption control measures, the Capricans fired ahead with elections for their new leader and elected a suitably inept minifig to lead their inept country. Winston Spencer, the self-proclaimed hardliner and ultra-xenophobe, will […]
Former emissary to the Capricas and Hero of the Empire, Lord Reginald Isaac Groons, is dead
Posted on April 25, 2013A minifig of the highest respect and veneration is no more. Shortly after 11:00 hours this morning the death of Sir Reginald Isaac Groons was announced by the Ministry of Truth. Suffering from the ill-effects of months of ill […]
“I was tortured”, claims former emissary to the Capricas
Posted on April 18, 2013The Empire of Legoland’s first ever Hero of the Empire, Sir Reginald Isaac Groons, was tortured by nefarious agents of the Caprican state it has been exposed. Too ill to communicate in public, the Ministry of Truth confirmed Groons’ […]
Empire says No to laughable Caprican demands
Posted on March 1, 2013The government has confirmed it will not accept any of the demands contained within the Caprican state’s much hyped “5 Point Plan”. Addressing a packed Hall of Minifigs, Prime Minister Julian Halliday explained to the house that the government […]
Fears mount for Empire’s emissary to the Capricas
Posted on March 1, 2013The Ministry of Truth has confirmed that the Empire’s emissary to the Capricas has been tortured by members of the ruthless security apparatus of Tsar Peter. He is now believed to be close to death. The communique for the […]
Peace talks breakdown on ultimatum
Posted on February 26, 2013Opening diplomatic talks being held in the PBR between representatives of the Empire of Legoland and the Capricas came to an abrupt halt today following an ultimation presented to the Caprican council. Minister for Foreign Affairs Roman Balfort laid […]
Empire of Legoland to go to war
Posted on February 22, 2013The Imperial Army is gearing up for war after reports surfaced that the Empire’s emissary to the Capricas, Sir Reginald Isaac Groons, has been placed under house arrest. With local media in the Kingdom now under full state censorship, […]
Emperor publicly renounces 2011 Caprican honour
Posted on February 21, 2013His Imperial Majesty, Emperor David, has publicly renounced the Knight of the Grand Caprican Order “honour” bestowed upon him in 2011 from the Government of the Capricas. His Knight’s Ceremonial Sword, provided as part of the glorified boy-scouts medal award […]
Trade embargo placed on Capricas
Posted on February 14, 2013Government imposes blockade after Caprican attack on free media An indefinite trade embargo has been placed on the Kingdom of the Capricas by the Empire of Legoland the government confirmed today. The move is seen as a direct response […]