2006 Archive
Legoland Football Association’s head office front door stolen by Legoland FC fans
Posted on December 15, 2006The Legoland Football Association has admitted tonight that one of the front doors of its Head Office in Legoland City has been stolen. The LFA announced that it believes supporters of Legoland FC took the door off its hinges […]
Police arrest Hole Heads members and seize huge narcotics and arms cache in sting operation
Posted on December 15, 2006Legoland Police are celebrating a major coup tonight with the apprehension of two suspected key members of the illegal Hole Heads gang after being tipped off by a unnamed source. Police are claiming that the two criminals were involved […]
“Mass” protest against “Playmobil agression” draws single protestor to Legoland Square
Posted on December 15, 2006The Government has called today’s protest against Playmobil’s threat of war a “resounding success”. Calling the protest a “mass expression of Lego people’s views”, a spokesman for the Government denied that a single man who turned up with a […]
Emperor gives the fingers to Playmobil by legalising slavery and breaking promise
Posted on December 11, 2006The Emperor has broken his weekend promise not to legalise slavery by announcing to the world tonight that Legoland has indeed legalised the practice. The news will be felt most by the former slum dwellers of Dalam and those […]
Emperor not using slaves to build palace as topic attracts unwanted attention
Posted on December 4, 2006The Emperor stated today that he is “definitely not” using slaves to assist the building of his new Winter Palace. Emperor David speaking in an state of emergency address to the nation on Legoland television claimed that accusations that […]
Playmobil’ threaten to go to war with Legoland state over slavery hullabaloo
Posted on December 4, 2006The leader of Playmobil, President Bouwers, stunned the world today by threatening to go to war with Legoland if the Republic proceeds with it’s plans to reintroduce slavery. The news, leaked by the Legoland Times, took all by surprise, […]
Troops gather on borders of city slum ahead of vote for the reintroduction of slavery
Posted on December 2, 2006Troops are beginning to gather on the borders of the sprawling Dalam slum in East Legoland City as a decision on whether to reintroduce slavery is expected later tomorrow. If the Government decide to sanction the reinstatement, many residents […]
Legoland FC fans banned from bringing hand guns along with them to football games
Posted on November 30, 2006Fans of Legoland FC have been hit with tough new anti-hooliganism measures today ahead of the club’s crunch league showdown with Lion Lakers AS on Sunday. The Legoland Football Association announced an agreement with the police force that will […]
Legoland Stores opens amid chaotic scenes as irate shoppers go berserk
Posted on November 28, 2006The flagship supermarket for the Legoland Stores retail group today opened for business in the Legoland City suburb of Marino however angry shoppers intimidated shop floor staff by cursing and banging on the doors. The shoppers, who felt they […]
Hole Heads admit to murder of Legoman claiming he was informer for rival gang
Posted on November 24, 2006Notorious Legoland City gang, the Hole Heads, tonight claimed responsibility for the killing of an alleged informer earlier this week. The body of the dead man was found by fishermen in the city’s bay. Police confirmed he had been […]
Body found dumped in Legoland Bay is suspected victim of gangland feuding
Posted on November 21, 2006The body of a man was found tonight in Legoland Bay with police sources saying that the condition of the man’s body shows all signs of the man having been murdered. The apparent killing has already been linked to […]
Cars set on fire in Marino disturbances as hooliganism continues to show its ugly face
Posted on November 19, 2006Another weekend of football violence involving supporters of Legoland FC has marred what has been a very significant day in the race for this season’s Serie A title. Disturbances broke out in Marino ahead of top of the table […]
Worst hotel ever opens in city suburb and drawing strong criticism from local slum dwellers
Posted on November 12, 2006The “worst ever” hotel has opened for business today in the poor Legoland suburb of Dalam. The one star hotel has been slammed by the National Tourist Board for being “ugly”, “depressing” and “lacking the most basic of facilities”. […]
Builders finish works on stadium ahead of weekend’s inaugural SuperLeague fixture
Posted on November 10, 2006Major renovation of Legoland City’s San Siro stadium has been completed by the Export Company and Elegotricity firms and Legoland United are expected to play their first game at the arena on Sunday as they host Serie A opponents […]
Police criticised as public disorder flares out of control despite 46 arrests
Posted on October 31, 2006Clashes between Police and hooligans of Legoland FC have continued for a third consecutive day and show little signs of ending according to reports from the Legoland City suburb of Cante. The rioting is the worst in years with […]