Peace talks breakdown on ultimatum

Opening diplomatic talks being held in the PBR between representatives of the Empire of Legoland and the Capricas came to an abrupt halt today following an ultimation presented to the Caprican council.

Minister for Foreign Affairs Roman Balfort laid down the Empire’s grievances and demanded they be fully redressed as the only means of adverting what would amount to a cultural war. The minister accused the Capricans of breaking the 2011 Act of Peaceful Alliance through persistent subversive interference into the affairs of the Empire and remedies were now required.

“It is the Government of the Empire of Legoland’s assertion that the Caprican state, contrary to the obligations it assumed as a friendly nation under the Act of Peaceful Alliance, and with no justification, has attempted to undermine the Empire of Legoland. In lieu of the unconditional and forthwith removal of all demands from the Caprican state, and the cessation of Caprican interference, the Empire is obliged to secure the persistence of its culture through the use of military action,” he stated.

An immediate response from the Caprican attache was not forthcoming as they scurried off like rats to inform their masters.