2009 Archive
Obnoxious Consensus tells the country he “ain’t going nowhere”
Posted on June 13, 2009General Secretary Obnoxious Consensus has refused to step aside despite only narrowly surviving yet another motion of no confidence tabled against himself and his New Brick Order cabinet by leading opposition parties. The attempted defeat of the government was […]
Calls for General Secretary to resign mount as unemployment hits record high
Posted on June 4, 2009The leader of the newly founded Everyone Deserves Bricks political group, Dr Maximus Generous, has called on the nation’s party political leader, Mr Obnoxious Consensus, to resign from office immediately after the State Employment Bureau’s latest jobless figures told […]
Legoland FC handed down heavy fine for last season’s football violence
Posted on May 25, 2009The Legoland Football Association have fined Legoland FC £1m for trouble caused by supporters of the capital side in Amrap on the final day of last season. Following LFC’s loss to Parma in Amrap on May 16th and the […]
Admirable Mr Prints calls for Serie A expansion to ensure league’s pre-eminence
Posted on May 12, 2009Celebs owner, the admirable Mr Prints, has called on Mr Fifa and the Legoland Football Association to “seriously consider” the recent proposal brought forward by Torino Calcio to expand the Serie A from 22 to 24 teams. Speaking in […]
Riot errupts in Legoland City centre after arrest of suspected crime boss
Posted on April 8, 2009The capture of a suspected key member of the Hole Heads Clan criminal syndicate has seen rioting break out in parts of the Legoland capital tonight as resident bums took to the streets in support of the arrested minifig, […]
Chief Collector General Dickus labels General Secretary an “idiot”
Posted on March 25, 2009Chief Collector General of the Empire’s Customs, Mr Biggus Dickus, has hit out at plans by the central government to increase taxes on imports by up to 300%. Mr Dickus, who oversees the record keeping and import tax collection […]
Council unveils proposals for capital redesign
Posted on March 10, 2009The Legoland City and County Council has unveiled a number of plans for the complete redesign and redevelopment of Legoland City. The proposals, the work of a number of private engineering contractors retained by the Council, have gone on […]
Nation’s third largest bank, PKLM, collapses after filing record losses
Posted on February 23, 2009The announcement came directly from VOL PKLM’s chief executive Riskyus Gambulus at lunchtime today in a statement hurriedly issued to the press. Legoland’s third largest financial institution will cease all operations permanently from 12:00am Friday 27th February with the […]
Calls for government to resign as unemployment rockets
Posted on February 20, 2009Unemployment figures released today have painted a gloomy picture on the jobs front with official statistics confirming that over 1,100 minifigs are now out of work. The record number of jobless is overwhelming the nation’s social welfare system run […]
February 11th declared a public holiday by Emperor David
Posted on February 9, 2009The great Emperor David has declared, his birthday, the 11th February, will be an annual public holiday from this Wednesday onwards. Addressing a packed parliament, the dictator of the Third Empire stressed the need for his citizens to have […]