Lego Republic, PBR reputations dragged through mud with allegations of figocide

PBR's Brik and TLR's Bricks are dining on the bodies of innocent Ancartans claims Stevens

PBR and TLR have been dining on the bodies of innocent Ancartans claims Stevens

Both the Lego Republic and the PBR have suffered heavy blows to their international image today following a provoking oration from renowned philanthropist and philosopher Elliot Stevens.

“Everything is not awesome”, said Stevens of the Lego Republic and PBR’s unwavering backing for the City of Legopolis administration, support which was now firmly implicating both countries in the seemingly unending war crimes being committed in Ancarta.

Stevens explained that despite the continued and inexcusable intensification of brutal violence against civilian minifigs in Ancarta, Legopolis’ allies continued to remain “extremely active on extreme inaction.”

This, he argued, assigned both countries to the dishonourable list of “willing accessories to figocide”.

“As far as these modern democracies go, the democratic rights of minifigs in other lands mean nothing. Both are totally enchanted by the charm of the Legopolis machine.”

“Both countries know what is happening in Ancarta and neither can plead ignorance as a defence of their positions of support. The atrocities being perpetrated by the administration in the City of Legopolis, which include the killing of women and children, are so often reported by local independent media every dog on the street knows it’s happening. But what do we hear from the self-styled do-gooders in Bricksburg and Williams City? What we hear are strengthened diplomatic ties, trade deals and flattery-laden tongues.”

Stevens ended by stating that he had lost faith in all of the respective governments as in his eyes they lacked “the underpinning characteristics of true supporters of universal minifig rights.”

The Davidium leadership failed to steer fully clear of Stevens’ criticism with the philanthropist saying that they needed to do more to push the Ancartan violence to top of the international agenda.

“The Committee [of National Restoration] can claim to have avoided raising the issue on the grounds that its relationship with Legopolis had been faltering on other matters and to do so could provoke further strife. That said, inaction is unacceptable. For this I give the Empire a ‘C’ grade for 2014.”