Legoban fury at Crown Jewels “theft”

A Legoban envoy is on its way to the Legoland capital to hold crisis talks with New Brick Order after the party revealed it had ordered the removal of Castleland’s “Crown Jewels” to the new parliament building currently under construction.

Minister for the Interior Mr Devious the Nucleus said the move was “essential” to “ensure the security of the treasured objet d’art” and denied that it was paramount to the “rape of Castleland’s culture”, an accusation levelled by the Castle Clan newspaper.

In the province itself, the news has ignited a wave of anti-government feeling throughout Castleland reports Filberry Mucus, regional correspondent with the Minifig Times. “Actions like this are persuading many Castlefigs into accepting the standpoint the Legoban have on what they label Urban Imperialism, the domination of Castlefigs by Townfigs and the plunder of Castleland by the Townfig led central government”.

Minifigs who were hoping that the NBO would adopt a conciliatory approach to aid the fragile armistice with the Legoban were disappointed again this morning with the announcement that taxes across the Empire are to increase to fund the NBO’s grandiose parliament building. The edifice will replace the torn-down Legoland White House building and it is expected to cost the taxpayer upwards of £350m.

The new taxes will hit all companies operating within the Legoland Empire and also sporting bodies who have been hit by a levy tax. The Legoland Serie A clubs have been worst affected incurring a £2m levy which was deducted from the accounts of all clubs today. NBO leader Mr Obnoxious Consensus defended the tax upon hearing that the move had irked many.

“We all agree that politicians need an environment to match their importance and such environs, equipped with the latest state-of-the-art facilities, such as spiral staircases, should improve efficiency. I envisage the turnaround time in decision making being reduced upon completion of this great monument and this will be to the benefit of all minifigs. Regarding the Serie A clubs, least they forget, they rely on the Empire Police and other state apparatuses to keep peace at games and so would do well to keep their toys in the pram.”