Stadium to be demolished in ambitious state-sponsored redevelopment plan

The San Siro stadium in Legoland City is to be knocked down in the coming months the Legoland Football Association has revealed.

The association is seeking £800m in funding from the state to expand the stadium and double the capacity. According to LFA president, Mr Fifa, the ground, which opened in November 2006, “needs major improving” to cater for bigger crowds and an increase in the number of hooligans.

Mr Fifa, speaking to The Legoland Times, claims that the directors of the nation’s biggest clubs, including SuperLeague giants Legoland United and Legoland FC, want work to be carried out on the stadium to start immediately. This, however, cannot happen according to the lard ass.

“We simply don’t have the funds or resources to commence now. The earliest date would be sometime in May, I think.”

Preliminary blueprint plans are being drawn up to increase the capacity to a minimum of 1500 minifigs, improve ground security, improve access and turnstile arrangements, construct new player changing rooms, construct a new in-built TV and media centre and open a dedicated Legoland Rail train station.

The number one issue for the developers is believed to be the lack of available additional space. It is expected that some of the surrounding buildings, including the Winter Palace, may also have to be altered to free up land.