Legaña’s president asks for wilderness to be tamed to help build new city

Pedro Cuahchic, the president of Legaña, has asked his people to focus their efforts on the construction of a new city in the Legañan jungle.

The name of this city is to be Santa Maria, in honour of his mother who was recently declared a state deity. The president made his first public appearance since taking the office in February, announcing, “I have asked all citizens of Legaña to combine their might to help me construct them a jungle utopia.

This new city of Santa Maria will be a cornerstone for freedom, justice and equality in the world.” The president called for this conference at his publicity office, flanked by two of his black-suited bodyguards.

Cynics say that the real motivation behind the construction of Santa Maria is for the president to escape recent international criticism following his taking of office. They add that this ‘jungle utopia’ is no more than an isolated hideout for President Cuahchic to escape the roving bands of Red-shirts plaguing the countryside.

Opinion is still divided in the country, with most liberal free-thinkers and the wealthy siding with the new president, leaving those stricken with poverty wondering if this money could be better spent elsewhere. Time will tell if Santa Maria will really become as El Presidente foresees, or the dystopian nightmare some predict.