Mr Fifa slams overweight reports as “lies” and “character assassination”

Overweight Legoland Football Association president Mr Fifa has hit out at reports in the Legoland media that he is fat. Speaking angrily to reporters the chubby football chief had this to say; “The suggestions that I am slightly obese are complete and utter fabrication. I am the same size as every other Legoman. I know that these lies are being made up in a classical case of attempted character assassination”.

Asked who might be behind the attempts to character assassinate him, Mr Fifa said “it could be one of a number of people or organisations. When you are a great man like me you tend to get many jealous detractors”. He refused however to go as far as naming names.

According to The Legoland Times journalist Volix Scriptus, Mr Fifa indeed has “many enemies”. These include football clubs such as Legoland FC, Legoland United, Lazio, Roma and Boca Libertas with whom his LFA organisation has punished heavily in the past. “Mr Fifa is widely believed to be the man behind the LFA’s decision to limit what football club owners and presidents can say about how the Legoland Football League is run. In addition to these clubs, football fans and the general public at large usually have negative feelings towards to blue suit clad man.