Milan take out record loan and ring in the changes in desperate bid to avoid drop

AC Milan have taken out a record £30m loan from the Voluntary Bank of Legoland in a desperate bid to save the club from relegation to Serie B. The loan was sealed following the decision by the Legoland Football Association to allow football clubs borrow money from the nation’s VOL and BOL banks.

It is understood that AC Milan have taken out a 2 year loan with VOL bank. Supporter groups of the Rossoneri welcomed the decision claiming that the risk of defaulting on the loans and incurring severe financial penalties were significantly less than the risk of being relegated to Serie B. It is estimated that Milan would lose between £15m and £20m for each season spent languishing in the second tier of Legoland football.

Milan immediately rung in the changes following the cash injection and snapped up Parma’s highly rated 19 year old midfielder Filippo Savi for £6m, Republic’s in-form keeper Azizon Mohamed for £4m, Emperor Eagles’ Marcello Salas also for £4m, Foggia’s promising defender Fabio Fanelli for £2m and Greentown Athletic’s Martin Palermo for an undisclosed fee believed to be in the region of £4m. Leaving the struggling giants are Arturo Lupoli and Giovanni Ventre whose loan deals from Legoland FC and Legoland United have been terminated and Marcio Amoroso who has signed a £1m deal with Greentown. Davide Farina has also left for Juventus in a £500,000 deal.

The rebuilding of the squad will “bring salvation a good step closer” according to coach Carlo Ancelotti who has beaten the odds by not being sacked according to the Milanese press. “We hope to start picking up some wins in the next few rounds” a beaming Ancelotti said.

Meanwhile supporters of Roman giants Lazio, who are second last in the Serie A table, have protested outside the club head office demanding that the owner, King Noel of ND Land, either take out a similar loan and start rebuilding the team or sell-up.

“We want someone who puts some effort into Lazio’s fortunes” said an angry protestor who wished to remain anonymous. “He [King Noel] should either sell to Mrs Sega immediately or take out bank loan and pump money into the side. Old players like Paolo Di Canio who are doing nothing for the club should be replaced with proper players. If we had done this earlier we would not be second last and we would not be out of the LFA Cup. He is responsible because he ignored our plight. We now only have 14 games to save ourselves and this team if unchanged won’t succeed”.