‘Nigfig’ term banned by Imperial decree as Emperor acts to advert Caprican trade war

Use of the term ‘Nigfig’ by the domestic media to describe minifigures of a brown hue has been outlawed by His Imperial Majesty Emperor David in a surprise move. Pressure from the Kingdom of the Capricas, a key export market for the Empire, is believed to be behind the decision.

A letter from the Caprican state hitting out at the use of the term was discussed in the Hall of Minifigs earlier today. In a rare sight of unity in the Great Hall, all main opposition parties signalled their agreement with the ruling Effective Minifig Union and Communist Party coalition that no action should be taken to ban the use of the word but rather there should be immediate repercussions for the meddling foreign power. However, in a rare move, the Emperor intervened to override the parliamentarians stoking audible dissent in the corridors of power.

New statutes are now be drafted by legislators under the auspices of the Attorney General and are to be signed into the constitution in January. In the interim, the Ministry of Justice has requested that media organisations adhere fully to the terms and conditions of the Telecommunications Act.

Outside the Imperial Post Office, the news was greeted by most a passerby with indifference.

“It doesn’t bother me what they call them, they’re still Nigfigs to me”, said one, with another adding, “I never used that term anyway. I call them figgers”.