The Empire strikes back! Caprican embassy goes up in smoke as security forces take backseat

Diplomatic relations between the Empires of Caprica and Legoland are at an all-time low today after last night’s dramatic events in the capital saw a crowd of over 30 young minifigs attack and burn the foreign embassy reducing it to melted plastic.

In a startling development the Prime Minister refused to condemn the attackers simply describing the news as “regrettable”. Armed with petrol bombs and fire crackers the crowd of ruffians stormed the building and broke down the front door after it became apparent the gathered security forces were uninterested in protecting the estate.

The actions or lack of action from the ‘figs in black was reflective of the souring of relations between the two states since the awarding of a KGCO to Emperor David earlier this month.

Tensions between the two powers had risen exponentially over the week after anti-Legoland protests errupted in Alexandria following minister Sir Ivory Laladey’s accusation that the Caprican state had acted with “extreme hubris” when bestowing a Knighthood on the Emperor and assuming he had agreed to its demanding acceptance conditions without asking.

Stories published in Caprican tabloids over the last 7 days have made thinly veiled attacks on the Empire’s health, religious and minifigitarian rights records wading in behind such outspoken loonies as Jesus further provoking the ire of many citizens of the Empire.

As the smoke cleared and the dust settled this morning, questions are being asked as to how events got to this stage and whether frayed relations can be repaired.

EDITORIAL COMMENT

Severing ties not the way forward

The events of this last week show just how far behind professional diplomacy Legoland’s diplomats really are. With the Empire’s emissary to Caprica, Reginald Isaac Groons, unable to justify his high salary with non performance of duties, calls from politicians back home to sever all ties with the kingdom are equally inept. It is time to demand a General Election. It is time to sever the incumbent baboons in government from government.