Empire Police release CCTV images of wanted “ringleaders”

The Empire Police have tonight released 11 photographs of minifigs they have branded the instigators of yesterday’s violent clashes in central Legoland City. The disturbances left 2 protestors dead and dozens injured and damaged not only businesses in the area but the capital’s entire image abroad.

Speaking on RTL’s evening news programme, Chief Biggus Piggus of the Empire Police appealed to residents of the capital to disclose where the hunted minifigs are hiding. “Someone knows where they are, whether friends or family members, someone knows. I didn’t come down in the last shower and these criminalfigs didn’t just evaporate into thin air. They aren’t wizards you know, they can’t just do that.”

Meanwhile the non state-run media are having a field day ridiculing not only the government but also the security forces.

The editor of the UASL Global tabloid branded Biggus Piggus a “water molecule”.

He explained that the rioters could well have been wizards, smart wizards who did away with their hats and wands to look more “normal”.

In a brave move, the Castleland daily, the Castle Clan, called the clampdown on anti-government protestors “barbaric” and accused the Ministry of Propaganda and Truth of “fiddling with the facts”.