Legoland Football Association rules against Marino owner, King Edward of Eland

The Legoland Football Association has announced that King Edward, the owner of Serie A side Marino, cannot necessarily prevent his club’s players from leaving the side even if they are still alive. In an press conference held today at the LFA Head Offices in Legoland City, the association’s president Mr Fifa concluded that the statement issued last month by King Edward on behalf of Marino was “actually illegal, would you believe?”. The Marino statement had read that their players “can only leave when they die”.

Mr Fifa explained that after launching a major investigation his organisation had in fact come up with a number of cases which would permit a contracted footballer leave his club against the will of the club’s owners. According to Mr Fifa, who in recent weeks has had to fight off rumours that he is overweight, if a player announces his retirement from football he is allowed to cut all ties to his club “no matter what”. Mr Fifa also added that if a player possessed a relegation release clause in his contract, the player could “obviously leave” his club should the side be relegated.

So far there has been no official response from King Edward or Marino. However, according to sources close to the Eland ruler, he is believed to be fuming at what is being perceived in Eland as an LFA plot against the club. According to the tabloid newspaper, UASL Global, relations between the Eland King and Mr Fifa are at an “all-time low”. “Mr Fifa has a canny ability to irritate national leaders” the paper reports after Mr Fifa incurred the wrath of the ND Land ruler King Noel in 2000 after the LFA fined the then King’s Lazio a staggering £2m.

Since Marino’s statement, the club have slipped two places in the Serie A standings and now lie in 12th place. Some supporters of the club have expressed their concern that King Edward’s remarks may have dinted morale at the club and this may have been a factor in last Sunday’s disappointing 2-0 home defeat by rivals Foggia.