The Emperor of the Legoland Republic has hit out at the Legoland Times branding its poll on corruption as being “corrupt”.
With 29% of all votes cast, Emperor David topped the poll, a poll which asked pollsters the simple question “Which is more corrupt”. The possible answers available to the public were: Legoland football (24%), ND Land football (0%), Mrs Sega (24%), Legoland FC (6%), Emperor David (29%), The Legoland Times (0%), The Empire Police (6%) and The Hole Heads crime gang (12%).
Speaking from the Winter Palace in Legoland City, an angry Emperor David called the poll question and results “flawed” and accused enemies of his rule of having manipulated the results by flooding the polls with “double votes”.
According to political analysts, those Legoland citizens found having voted for the Emperor could face severe punishments including lengthy imprisonment or even the death penalty. Mr Prints who owns The Legoland Times has apologised personally for the results of the poll. Mr Prints, a true gentleman and uncorrupted businessman, claimed that his newspaper would clamp down on those “trying to give our great leader a bad name”.
The poll results held a number of shock results with ND Land football getting surprisingly no votes despite Mrs Sega’s suspiciously odd purchase of ND Land football club Lazio last month. Mrs Sega did however come in second place in the poll tied with Legoland football on 24%. Both Mr Sega and the Legoland Football Association have refused to comment on the poll results.
Meanwhile, the Hole Heads crime syndicate will be celebrating today after polling just 12% of the vote. An anonymous caller to the NTL TV centre claimed that the group was proud to be considered less than half as corrupt as the national leader.