2011 Archive
Sub-species could be turned into “edible” biscuits according to Legoland First leader
Posted on November 3, 2011The leader of the right-wing extremist Legoland First party, Norbert Isen, has shocked members of parliament today by declaring that Negfigroes may be edible and, if “harvested”, “could dramatically drive down the cost of food commodities”. Addressing the Hall […]
Scientists marvel at evolutionary discovery as new minifig species found in Playmobil
Posted on November 3, 2011The “discovery of the decade” is how scientists are labelling the detection of a new minifig species in the nadirs of the Playmobilian Andonien rainforest. An expeditionary team of scientists ventured into the remotest corner of the kingdom and […]
Positive figures released by State Economic Bureau shows state coffers growing
Posted on November 1, 2011The sale of state assets to foreign minifigs has brought in an estimated £250m in funds to the exchequer the State Economic Bureau have announced. The much needed money will assist the Empire pay off debts accrued since the […]
Embattled PM throws in the towel after emergence of secret arms deal
Posted on November 1, 2011The mother of all scandals is how state broadcaster RTL broke the news. And what a scandal it is. Leaked reports from the Ministry of Peace has revealed that a massive arms deal was struck with the Kingdom of […]
HIM may force release of “mad” JC, currently locked away in a correctional facility
Posted on November 1, 2011Emperor David may personally intervene to secure the release of looney MP hopeful Jesus Christ. Mr Christ was booked into the Imperial Correctional Facility after the double crime of criticising the state and insisting he is the son of […]
Major overhaul of Lego football on the cards as LFA to expand “Legoisation”
Posted on November 1, 2011In a dramatic announcement, the LFA has confirmed it is advancing plans to only permit players and managers possessing Lego names from registering with teams within the Legoland league. The move is expected to see thousands of minifigs rush […]
Pound devalued for first time ever as Central bank makes historic unprecedented move
Posted on November 1, 2011The Central Bank has devalued the Legoland Pound by 50% in value against the currency of its largest trading partner, ND Land. The decision was made to enable the printing of hundreds of millions in of new money in […]
Race riots hit the troubled PBR capital as ethnic fleshies attack normal figs
Posted on November 1, 2011Riots have broken out in the PBR capital Williams City after local fleshies learnt of the Ministry of Peace’s statement declaring its disinterest in assistance from ethnic fleshies in the PBR army. According to local media outlets, “flesh coloured […]
Attack ends year of peace in troubled region as Legoban unhappy at pace of reform
Posted on October 31, 2011The Legoban’s decision to return to armed conflict has disappointed but not surprised many observers of Legoland politics. A constant torn in the State’s side in 2010 and 2009, the leaders of the ethnic Castlefig insurgency agreed to lay […]
Townships fall to Legoban as Ministry of Truth once again denies everything
Posted on October 31, 2011The settlements of Kerat and Habalal have fallen to Legoban insurgents the Minifig Associated Press has confirmed. The townships, situated just west of the Habalalum region’s largest city, Medina, were taken in the early hours of yesterday morning the […]
Fleshies’ help available but not wanted as Ministry not seeking help from “lower ‘fig forms”
Posted on October 31, 2011It may have been an offer of kindness from the minifigs of the PBR to send their national army to Legoland to bolster Empire forces in the event of military action from Caprica. The offer was today firmly rejected […]
Jesus may be released soon according to unofficial sources close to oddball figure
Posted on October 31, 2011Looney politican Jesus may be released from his period of house arrest according to the Empire Police. The controversial minifig was placed under police guard following his verbal diatribe directed at the Government in August. The minifig is looking […]
PBR ruler set to stand by his minifig as the Empire still has friends, just not on Brickface
Posted on October 1, 2011The PBR has mobilised the state’s Imperial Armed Forces declaring the move is for “training purposes”. Anonymous sources close to the PBR Government are contradicting the official line however, stating that the call-up is solely related to the escaling […]
Brick hits the fan as Emperor slams impotent Caprican regime’s failure to clamp down on media
Posted on October 1, 2011The Empire of Legoland’s economy has collapsed while refugeefigs flee in their hundreds to the safety of neighbouring countries. That outlandish tale is being reported under the guise of news by local media outlets in the backwater rogue state […]
National Assets Management Agency established to raise funds for state
Posted on October 1, 2011In an attempt to raise new badly needed funds to replenish the Empire’s empty coffers the Government has announced the formation of a new department, the National Assets Management Agency, or “Nama” for short. Nama will operate a “Store” […]