2010 Archive

Mader Pipons, a senior official in the Ministry of Finance, has this evening leaked the startling findings of a secret central government report on the extent of links between the Legoban and Legoland’s own drug gangs. Mr Pipons tendered […] 0

Legoban insurgency is being “bankrolled” by the trade in narcotics

Posted July 27, 2010

Mader Pipons, a senior official in the Ministry of Finance, has this evening leaked the startling findings of a secret central government report on the extent of links between the Legoban and Legoland’s own drug gangs. Mr Pipons tendered […]

Serie A football club Atlas Bell have become the latest SuperLeague side to fall into overseas hands after being sold to a previously unheard of foreign businessfig. The Bell’s new boss, Genaro Cal, hails from the City of Legopolis, […] 0

Atlas Bell sold to foreign businessfig in multi-million pound deal

Posted July 24, 2010

Serie A football club Atlas Bell have become the latest SuperLeague side to fall into overseas hands after being sold to a previously unheard of foreign businessfig. The Bell’s new boss, Genaro Cal, hails from the City of Legopolis, […]

Security forces are investigating the shooting dead of two minifigs in the second gangland attack this month in the capital. The attack, an apparent assassination of 2 members of the Dalambino family, occurred in broad-daylight and shows the persistence […] 0

Two members of the Dalambino crime family gunned down

Posted July 9, 2010

Security forces are investigating the shooting dead of two minifigs in the second gangland attack this month in the capital. The attack, an apparent assassination of 2 members of the Dalambino family, occurred in broad-daylight and shows the persistence […]

The Castleland border city of Irab is this evening under direct Legoban administration for the first time after the Central Government ceded control of the settlement to Legoban warlords. As part of a peace deal with a number of […] 0

Irab falls into Legoban control after warlords secure prize in peace deal

Posted April 29, 2010

The Castleland border city of Irab is this evening under direct Legoban administration for the first time after the Central Government ceded control of the settlement to Legoban warlords. As part of a peace deal with a number of […]

The new names to be formally adopted on 2nd May by the 7 clubs of Italian-Lego origin in the current Serie A division were today confirmed by the Legoland Football Association. The move to rename the clubs was the […] 0

Seven new Serie A club names unveiled by football association

Posted April 29, 2010

The new names to be formally adopted on 2nd May by the 7 clubs of Italian-Lego origin in the current Serie A division were today confirmed by the Legoland Football Association. The move to rename the clubs was the […]

Former Legoland FC and Napoli forward Didier Drogba has become the nation’s first ever “nigfig” after undergoing surgery in the capital today. Taking time out from his busy training schedule with Albern, “the Drog” flew into Legoland this morning […] 0

Former Legoland FC footballer becomes Legoland’s first ever black minifig

Posted April 19, 2010

Former Legoland FC and Napoli forward Didier Drogba has become the nation’s first ever “nigfig” after undergoing surgery in the capital today. Taking time out from his busy training schedule with Albern, “the Drog” flew into Legoland this morning […]

The contrasting fortunes of a number of SuperLeague clubs this weekend underlines the growing disparity between football’s “haves” and “have-nots” according to a report produced for the Ministry of Games and released to the public. The paper, commissioned by […] 0

Two-tier” SuperLeague criticised by nation’s largest consulting firm PwP

Posted April 18, 2010

The contrasting fortunes of a number of SuperLeague clubs this weekend underlines the growing disparity between football’s “haves” and “have-nots” according to a report produced for the Ministry of Games and released to the public. The paper, commissioned by […]

The Empire Police have spearheaded a huge crackdown on suspected participants in Tuesday’s violent demonstration against the government in the capital. Security forces raided premises across the city and were seen handling detainees in a very rough manner indeed […] 0

Dozens of “miscreants” rounded up in Empire Police raids across city

Posted February 25, 2010

The Empire Police have spearheaded a huge crackdown on suspected participants in Tuesday’s violent demonstration against the government in the capital. Security forces raided premises across the city and were seen handling detainees in a very rough manner indeed […]

The Empire Police have tonight released 11 photographs of minifigs they have branded the instigators of yesterday’s violent clashes in central Legoland City. The disturbances left 2 protestors dead and dozens injured and damaged not only businesses in the […] 0

Empire Police release CCTV images of wanted “ringleaders”

Posted February 23, 2010

The Empire Police have tonight released 11 photographs of minifigs they have branded the instigators of yesterday’s violent clashes in central Legoland City. The disturbances left 2 protestors dead and dozens injured and damaged not only businesses in the […]

Running street battles between security forces and the capital’s residents have erupted in Legoland City tonight with reports of several minifigs killed. Disturbances broke out in the city centre when dozens of minifigs started smashing in shop windows and […] 0

Shots fired as army sent in to crush anti-governnment demonstration

Posted February 22, 2010

Running street battles between security forces and the capital’s residents have erupted in Legoland City tonight with reports of several minifigs killed. Disturbances broke out in the city centre when dozens of minifigs started smashing in shop windows and […]

This afternoon’s official pronouncement by the state to scrap the new parliament building project has been passionately defended this evening by the Minister for Propaganda and Truth Dr Draco Gobble. Calling the government’s decision “inspirational”, Dr Gobble accused critics […] 0

Government denies Whitegate fiasco happened in show of stuttering propaganda

Posted February 22, 2010

This afternoon’s official pronouncement by the state to scrap the new parliament building project has been passionately defended this evening by the Minister for Propaganda and Truth Dr Draco Gobble. Calling the government’s decision “inspirational”, Dr Gobble accused critics […]

Unusually for a country which almost always does everything second, Legana has today made a pioneering leap into the 21st century with the opening of the world’s first wave energy plant. The plant was the brainchild of Fiorentina owner […] 0

World’s first wave energy plant opens in Legana

Posted February 20, 2010

Unusually for a country which almost always does everything second, Legana has today made a pioneering leap into the 21st century with the opening of the world’s first wave energy plant. The plant was the brainchild of Fiorentina owner […]

Gross Domestic Product (GDP) figures issued this evening by the Ministry of Finance’s State Economic Bureau have confirmed that the Legoland Empire is now no longer in recession having seen growth of just over 0.6% in the last two […] 0

Ministry figures confirms that the Empire crawled out of recession in late 2009

Posted February 19, 2010

Gross Domestic Product (GDP) figures issued this evening by the Ministry of Finance’s State Economic Bureau have confirmed that the Legoland Empire is now no longer in recession having seen growth of just over 0.6% in the last two […]

The president of Legana, Pedro Cuahchic, has been accused of failing to support his valuable ally and Emperor of Legoland, Emperor David. The accusations come after a valuable shipment of rifles offered by El Presidente to help the Legoland […] 0

Leganan President accused of not supporting ally in fight against Legoban

Posted February 13, 2010

The president of Legana, Pedro Cuahchic, has been accused of failing to support his valuable ally and Emperor of Legoland, Emperor David. The accusations come after a valuable shipment of rifles offered by El Presidente to help the Legoland […]

Reigning Serie A champions Legoland United have once again been accused of using witchcraft by the president of Legoland FC, Francesco Pedone. Speaking to journalists at LFC Park, the clubs’ training ground, Pedone accused his counterpart at Legoland United […] 0

Legoland United accused of conspiring with wizards ahead of Derby showdown

Posted February 11, 2010

Reigning Serie A champions Legoland United have once again been accused of using witchcraft by the president of Legoland FC, Francesco Pedone. Speaking to journalists at LFC Park, the clubs’ training ground, Pedone accused his counterpart at Legoland United […]