2010 Archive
Legoban insurgency is being “bankrolled” by the trade in narcotics
Posted on July 27, 2010Mader Pipons, a senior official in the Ministry of Finance, has this evening leaked the startling findings of a secret central government report on the extent of links between the Legoban and Legoland’s own drug gangs. Mr Pipons tendered […]
Atlas Bell sold to foreign businessfig in multi-million pound deal
Posted on July 24, 2010Serie A football club Atlas Bell have become the latest SuperLeague side to fall into overseas hands after being sold to a previously unheard of foreign businessfig. The Bell’s new boss, Genaro Cal, hails from the City of Legopolis, […]
Two members of the Dalambino crime family gunned down
Posted on July 9, 2010Security forces are investigating the shooting dead of two minifigs in the second gangland attack this month in the capital. The attack, an apparent assassination of 2 members of the Dalambino family, occurred in broad-daylight and shows the persistence […]
Irab falls into Legoban control after warlords secure prize in peace deal
Posted on April 29, 2010The Castleland border city of Irab is this evening under direct Legoban administration for the first time after the Central Government ceded control of the settlement to Legoban warlords. As part of a peace deal with a number of […]
Seven new Serie A club names unveiled by football association
Posted on April 29, 2010The new names to be formally adopted on 2nd May by the 7 clubs of Italian-Lego origin in the current Serie A division were today confirmed by the Legoland Football Association. The move to rename the clubs was the […]
Former Legoland FC footballer becomes Legoland’s first ever black minifig
Posted on April 19, 2010Former Legoland FC and Napoli forward Didier Drogba has become the nation’s first ever “nigfig” after undergoing surgery in the capital today. Taking time out from his busy training schedule with Albern, “the Drog” flew into Legoland this morning […]
Two-tier” SuperLeague criticised by nation’s largest consulting firm PwP
Posted on April 18, 2010The contrasting fortunes of a number of SuperLeague clubs this weekend underlines the growing disparity between football’s “haves” and “have-nots” according to a report produced for the Ministry of Games and released to the public. The paper, commissioned by […]
Dozens of “miscreants” rounded up in Empire Police raids across city
Posted on February 25, 2010The Empire Police have spearheaded a huge crackdown on suspected participants in Tuesday’s violent demonstration against the government in the capital. Security forces raided premises across the city and were seen handling detainees in a very rough manner indeed […]
Empire Police release CCTV images of wanted “ringleaders”
Posted on February 23, 2010The Empire Police have tonight released 11 photographs of minifigs they have branded the instigators of yesterday’s violent clashes in central Legoland City. The disturbances left 2 protestors dead and dozens injured and damaged not only businesses in the […]
Shots fired as army sent in to crush anti-governnment demonstration
Posted on February 22, 2010Running street battles between security forces and the capital’s residents have erupted in Legoland City tonight with reports of several minifigs killed. Disturbances broke out in the city centre when dozens of minifigs started smashing in shop windows and […]
Government denies Whitegate fiasco happened in show of stuttering propaganda
Posted on February 22, 2010This afternoon’s official pronouncement by the state to scrap the new parliament building project has been passionately defended this evening by the Minister for Propaganda and Truth Dr Draco Gobble. Calling the government’s decision “inspirational”, Dr Gobble accused critics […]
World’s first wave energy plant opens in Legana
Posted on February 20, 2010Unusually for a country which almost always does everything second, Legana has today made a pioneering leap into the 21st century with the opening of the world’s first wave energy plant. The plant was the brainchild of Fiorentina owner […]
Ministry figures confirms that the Empire crawled out of recession in late 2009
Posted on February 19, 2010Gross Domestic Product (GDP) figures issued this evening by the Ministry of Finance’s State Economic Bureau have confirmed that the Legoland Empire is now no longer in recession having seen growth of just over 0.6% in the last two […]
Leganan President accused of not supporting ally in fight against Legoban
Posted on February 13, 2010The president of Legana, Pedro Cuahchic, has been accused of failing to support his valuable ally and Emperor of Legoland, Emperor David. The accusations come after a valuable shipment of rifles offered by El Presidente to help the Legoland […]
Legoland United accused of conspiring with wizards ahead of Derby showdown
Posted on February 11, 2010Reigning Serie A champions Legoland United have once again been accused of using witchcraft by the president of Legoland FC, Francesco Pedone. Speaking to journalists at LFC Park, the clubs’ training ground, Pedone accused his counterpart at Legoland United […]