2007 Archive
Military to receive massive £100m in forthcoming budget confirms ministry
Posted on September 6, 2007The Government has announced that in excess of £100 million Lego pounds will be made available to the military in the next budget, which may be announced in October. According to the New Brick Order’s Minister for Defence, Chemicalus […]
There is “no hooligan problem” says football association president to reporters
Posted on September 4, 2007Legoland Football Association president and general lard-ass, Mr Fifa, has claimed that there is “no hooligan problem in Legoland football”. The bizarre claims seems to contradict all semi-logical evidence which, if anything, seems to point to increasing levels of […]
Legoland overthrows Space Republic government in act of “empire building”
Posted on September 1, 2007The Legoland Imperial Republic today attacked the independent Space Federal Republic, overthrowing its government and abolishing its constitution. The attack saw air bombardments over Space City in which local news outlets claimed killed 56 minifigs, all citizens. The LRG […]
Legoland Football Association revamps League and expels 21 clubs
Posted on August 19, 2007The Legoland Football Association has ordered the shut down of 21 Italian-Lego clubs in a shock move that has stunned the SuperLeague. The news came just one day after the LFA’s overweight president Mr Fifa suggested that his organisation […]
Government minister denies being racist after comments on Playmobil people
Posted on August 19, 2007The Minister for Sports, Education and Drugs, Mr Crazy-us Broadside, has refuted claims by the Legoland Communist Party that he is a “racist”. The LCP accused Mr Broadside of being “a blatant racist” after he called for any Playmobil […]
Legoland prepares for 16th AKA Day commemoration celebrations
Posted on July 7, 2007Hundreds of Lego minifigs are preparing to celebrate the 16th Anti Ken Association Day tomorrow with massive parties taking place throughout Legoland. The annual celebration commemorates the 1991 7th July execution of notorious mini-fig, and leader of Kenland, Ken. […]
Ronald McDonald confirms security beefed up at Lego McDonald’s outlets
Posted on June 20, 2007The owner of restaurant chain, McDonald’s, has announced that the company will be improving security at its two outlets in the Legoland Republic following constant vandalism. The firm is looking to hire four plain clothes security staff to guard […]
Legoland Republic may invade distant land in so-called “minifigitarian intervention”
Posted on June 12, 2007The Legoland Republic’s top army brass are considering whether to invade a newly discovered rogue state situated somewhere in the New World and help a key warlord, Chief Carl, crush his main rival Chief Henry. According to sources close […]
Trouble erupts as state broadcaster airs LEGOVision Song Contest against wishes
Posted on May 12, 2007Violence has errupted outside the RTE television studios following the decision by the state broadcaster to air the 4-hour long tripe session that is the LEGOVision Song Contest. According to the broadcasters, up to 50 people attacked the station’s […]
ND Land football league undergoes extensive surgery including forced retirement operation
Posted on February 16, 2007It has been revealed that the governing body of the ND Land football league, the NDFA, commenced last week a review and restructuring process for the national league it has been reported today. It is believed that the NDFA […]
Empire Police to review security measures as Legoland Derby violence sees three murdered
Posted on February 11, 2007Clashes between rival fans of Legoland FC and Legoland United has resulted in three men losing their lives and serious injuries to dozens according to the Empire Police. The trouble peaked in the hours following Sunday’s Legoland Derby football […]
Football hooligans threaten violence as authorities plan weapons crackdown
Posted on February 8, 2007Supporters of Legoland FC have said that they still intend on partaking in “loads of rioting” at Sunday’s Legoland Derby match against cross-town rivals Legoland United. The announcement by the hardcore supporter group, the Yellow Heads Ultras, came despite […]
City remains on a knife-edge as origins of bombers still unknown to authorities
Posted on February 4, 2007The fact that no group has yet claimed responsibility for Friday’s bomb attacks in Legoland City has increased tension amongst the city’s residents in what would already have been a tense time as Sunday’s highly anticipated Legoland Derby football […]
AVEK deny carrying out yesterday’s bomb attacks in capital which claimed 23 lives
Posted on February 3, 2007The outlawed terrorist group the Anti Vikingland Eland Korp (AVEK) have today denied that they were responsible for Friday’s triple car bomb attack on Legoland City. The blasts targeted the Winter Palace, the Ministry of Defence, and the city’s […]
18 dead as massive blasts rock Legoland City in apparent attack on state buildings
Posted on February 2, 2007Three massive car bombs have exploded in Legoland City this evening with reports of major damage to a number of key Government buildings and at least 18 people killed. The blasts could be heard outside the city and smoke […]