Empire of Legoland to go to war

legoland-to-go-to-warThe Imperial Army is gearing up for war after reports surfaced that the Empire’s emissary to the Capricas, Sir Reginald Isaac Groons, has been placed under house arrest. With local media in the Kingdom now under full state censorship, it has become less clear as to the thinking behind his detention, but regional analysts believe it is likely to be a calculated move by the Caprican government to further stoke tensions in the region.

With both countries now on the brink of war, a wall of silence has encased the Hall of Minifigs. Members of the cabinet stayed well away from the media hoards today despite their demands for the Empire’s elected officials to address its minifigs. The Ministry of Truth was less quiet, pronouncing that the Imperial armies of the Empire of Legoland are ready to “bring total war to the Capricas”. “This will be a war of annihilation, no minifig of Caprican blood will be spared”, it said.

Elsewhere, the threat of conflict has seen the price of day-to-day commodities such as foodstuffs and oil rise, causing further economic hardship on poorer minifigs. “This is what war brings, nothing but misery. We can thank the Figger-loving Caps for that”, an anonymous fig told the Minifig Times.

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