The leader of the newly founded Everyone Deserves Bricks political group, Dr Maximus Generous, has called on the nation’s party political leader, Mr Obnoxious Consensus, to resign from office immediately after the State Employment Bureau’s latest jobless figures told the true tale of the Legoland economy’s dismal performance.
Speaking at the inaugural EDB party conference, Dr Generous spoke of the current woes that inflict Legoland, woes he firmly believes are the direct result of Consensus’s “dithering”.
“The disgraced New Brick Order party, and in particular Consensus, have made it nearly embarrassing to call yourself a Lego minifig. Their actions, or rather lack of actions and his dithering on the issues, have plunged the Empire’s financial system into the abyss and it is nigh high he steps down before he’s pushed”.
The latest CMOD and State Employment Bureau statistics show that the Legoland economy is set to contract by nearly 20% with nearly all registered businesses expected to post heavy losses at the end of the financial year in early Autumn.
Despite unemployment figures at their highest in the history of the state, with close to 1,500 minifigs out of work, Obnoxious Consensus remained positive and refused to contemplate resigning when answering his critics in the parliament.
“I will never resign, I am doing a good job and the economy is improving. Look at the facts. Things have hit rock-bottom and the entire world economy is suffering. Look at Legana, Playmobil, the PBR. Would you prefer to live there? No, I didn’t think so.”
Nevertheless the majority of the press are now clearly against Consensus and have called for his head. Castleland daily the Castle Clan has labelled the General Secretary “Legoland’s number one outlaw” and has proposed a number of solutions to Legoland’s troubles, principal among them being the beheading of Consensus.
Back in the world of legality, Dr Generous said his EDB would not rule out forming a rainbow coalition government with the Communist Party and another upstart in the political world, the Effective Minifig Union in a bid to oust Consensus at the ballot box.
“As parties we all have similarities so I couldn’t and wouldn’t rule out working with either party” he said. “If we can agree to work together on the key issues I would welcome sharing power” he added.
Meanwhile Jesus, who lost his job in September 2007 following the ban on God, said that minifigs “should not forget the long-term unemployed” which he felt could happen because of the recent “haemorrhaging of jobs”. The one-time deity also confirmed that he was considering branching out and working in the entertainment industry.