Although agreeing that tennis is “dead boring”, the Emperor of the Third Empire has announced the legalisation of the sport.
The first tennis club license has been granted to the Beigecourt Tennis Group who will open two tennis courts in Legoland City later this year. Emperor David called the decision to allow tennis “wise” and a “good business opportunity”.
An editorial in the Sports for Minifigs magazine suggests that tennis has been given the green light because it allows the government tax the sector’s income. “Only some wealthy minifigs are expected to play this sport and the government sees the taxation of the tennis clubs as a good way to increase revenue streams to fund the much under-resourced security forces”.
Spokesfig for the Beigecourt Tennis Group, Mr Advantageous Tiebreakus, called the decision ” a great day for Legoland sport”. “This is fantastic news, tennis is a super sport full of great, respectable minifigs. Minifigs you’d be willing to go for a drink with. All ‘figs involved in the world of tennis have great etiquette and really, the supporters acts in a very proper gentlemanly manner”.
He also took a thinly veiled swipe at the state of Legoland’s most popular sport by far, football. “Unlike some sports fans who come to the Beigecourt Tennis Lawn will be able to view the matches without the fear of a seat or beer can being thrown at them”.
Meanwhile the ugly head of football reared it’s head again today with a Legoland FC supporters club promising to turn “Napoli into a hell hole” when the team visits the city next year. The notorious Yellow Heads Ultras are furious at Napoli’s Rulandstin owner Colonel Brik after his recent comments suggested LFC fans were troublemakers.
Colonel Brik, who seems to love the spotlight had plenty to say yet again today. In a public memorandum Colonel Brik said he was hopeful the best was yet to come from his football team.
“Even though Napoli has dipped into the lower half of the SuperLeague standings the Brikpublic Brewery, BlackBrik and I have faith in our Napoli team to rise to the top. Coaches and players should know that the ownership still has the utmost faith they will have a excellent season and make the Napoli faithful proud of the team. We have allowed outside distractions to keep us from playing our best football and now that those games are behind us we know the best lies ahead. Fans and supporters of Napoli should raise there heads and be proud of how they have handled themselves through the start of the season. There are many weeks to go and we are just getting warmed up.”