The Legoland Mafia is being blamed for this evening’s deadly attack on an Empire Police prison convoy which killed five policemen and critically injured another.
The five vehicle fleet, consisting of two marked police cars and three armoured police vans, was ambushed whilst crossing the June Motorway Bridge in the capital’s western district. All of the vehicles were quickly immobilised by overwhelming gunfire and the officers apparently murdered like fish in a barrel.
According to detective Fidelis Evidencus of the Special Branch, the life of the lone survivor, Officer Hideous Pawnus, was spared on purpose so he could act as a “messenger”.
“From what he has been able to tell us so far, it appears those in the Mob spared him so he could pass on a direct message of intimidation to minifigs working in the courts service and the police department”. Evidencus added that Pawnus claimed a number of prominent minifigs, including chief justice Justice Dessertus, have effectively been given a “death sentence” by the mafia. These minifigs have now been put under heavy armed guard for protection he confirmed.
The Empire Police have revealed that the convoy was carrying three members of the Dalambino crime family who were being transferred from Fort Dalam Prison to the Vela maximum security prison in Nordtap. The trio, named as Fraudo Leggio and brothers Sadistico and Violentio Dalambino, were facing a combined total of 37 life-terms for 18 murders, racketeering, obstruction of justice, hijacking, conspiracy to commit murder, illegal gambling, extortion, tax evasion and loansharking among others.
The Empire Police are offered £2m for information leading to the successful recapture of each of the outlaws. “These minifigs were shot at and murdered indiscriminately”, said a clearly shaken Empire Police chief, Biggus Piggus. “We will continue the investigation into the attack until those responsible are brought to justice”, he told reporters before heading to meet the Minister for the Interior, Mr Devious the Nucleus.