Construction Work On New Stadium Grinds To Halt
Construction work on the capital’s new 2000 minifigure capacity football stadium came to a halt today after the building contractors announced that the Third Empire government has requested an emergency site review.
Speaking to the press, the CEO of the Export Company, Mr Organius Crimus, gave what information he had.
“Today, at 13:00 hours, the nation’s leadership ordered the halting of all works in Marino until further notice. It is my understanding that the government have acted on the behalf of the planning authorities who have expressed concerns that the stadium is, as they put it, “in the wrong place”. Relocation of the arena to another suburb looks on the cards”.
Should the half-built stadium require a relocation it is likely to result in the overall project cost spiraling to in excess of £0.5bn, with the Export Company being the only real benefiters. With the new SuperLeague season set to kick-off in 19 days the arena’s quick completion is deemed a necessity by the country’s top football clubs. PR officer of the current SuperLeague champions Legoland FC, Mr Daniele Massaro, expressed his opinion that the football association are “incompetent”.
“It seems incomprehensible that the designers of the new arena could not figure out how much land they needed before commencing and how it would impact on the chosen site. I don’t know anyone who in their right mind would suggest building a stadium in Marino. Let’s face it, you don’t have to be a sciencefig to know that Marino is the wrong place for anything impressive. The idea to build there was absurd and there’s only one person to blame; Mr Fifa and Legoland United. Mr Fifa should resign immediately before embarrassing himself more.”
Massaro’s harsh words may not be the last directed at the Legoland Football Association as the delay in the stadium’s construction is set to hit the average Lego minifig. According to the Sarafield Research Group, “a relocation of the stadium is a euphemism for a dangerous transplant”. “The existing stadium will have to be cut into segments and shipped to its new location. This will be a gargantuan task and fraught with danger. The structural integrity could easily be compromised at any time during the move and the whole operation will cost millions. Expect taxes to rise to pay for such a massive cock-up”.