Emperor David is set to sit down with the leader of last Saturday week’s immigrants rights protest in an effort to prevent trouble ahead of this weekend’s LEGOVision Song Contest. The song contest is being held in the nation’s capital on Saturday 31st May but may not be broadcast in Legoland following the violent scenes that hit the RTE state broadcaster offices last year after they aired the 4-hour long borefest.
According to his aides, the admirable dictator will “try his best” to ensure that a suitable image of Legoland is portrayed internationally when the annual competition is broadcast to thousands of minifigs trapped in their homes around the globe. This, according to the Ministry for the Interior, means “no major violence is allowed in the days leading up to Saturday 31st May and until after 6pm on Sunday 1st June”.
The leader of the Immigrants Rights protestors is a recent immigrant minifig dubbed by the press as “Claudia the Barbarian”. Little is known of the minifig but the decision by the Emperor to personally meet with the immigrant indicates that the Winter Palace may be concerned about immigrant rights.
Speaking to a selected audience at the White House, the Minister for the Interior, Mr Devious the Nucleus, explained that “the Emperor likes immigrants. He cares for all minifigs, no matter when they arrived in Legoland”.
He added, “The only minifigs the Emperor doesn’t care for are troublesome disloyal minifigs. Let any minifigs contemplating trouble this weekend be known, no disorder of any kind will be tolerated”. Mr the Nucleus said that meeting Claudia was “a good way to keep in touch with the average minifig” and that the Emperor would “be glad to hold a monologue with her”.
The independent Legoland media have speculated that the meeting is likely to be only a means to diffuse potential trouble next weekend and that the Emperor will hold no more talks once the 2008 LEGOVision Song Contest wraps up.
“He is more likely to send in the troops once the international eyes lift their focus on Legoland”, said the Castle Clans’s Pious Spasticous. “Some believe he wants to test out the military’s new LRG Mammoth tanks and he may feel that using them to clamp down on protestors would be a good opportunity”.
Meanwhile, interviewed minifigs on the streets of the capital have hit out at both the government and the immigrants. Long-term resident of Legoland, Mr Cautious Virus said he was annoyed at the noise the protestors had made.
“I’m not racist but immigrant minifigs are noisier than us normal minifigs”. Mrs Gossipgum Retardus also gave her two Lego cents declaring, “I don’t mind most Town immigrants, I just don’t like the pale faced ‘fleshies’, or the ones with too much decoration on their faces, or those Harry Potter and Aquazone jerks”.
She finished by suggesting that the government do something.
“Those politicians are all corrupt minifigs. The economy’s been going downhill this last month. If I was them I would use immigrants as slaves, especially those Harry Potter and Aquazone jerks”.