The great leader of Legoland, Emperor David, has called talks held with the immigrant rights protest leader Claudia ‘the Barbarian’ as having been “productive” and “a significant first step on the way to progress”.
Having ensured that the LEGOVision Song Contest passed off peacefully on Saturday, the Emperor was clearly pleased with the meeting’s results. Little is known of what was discussed yet an anonymous source close to the White House suggest that Claudia will resign as leader of the protest movement and call for the movement’s disbandment.
General Secretary of the Imperial Legoland Republic, Mr Obnoxious Consensus, has reportedly “sealed the deal” having promised that his New Brick Order party will “allocate resources to assist immigrants integrate better into Legoland society”, according to the aforementioned source.
As the trio left Legoland’s parliament it appears that Claudia the Barbarian was also happy with the outcome of the meeting as she smiled profusely. Nevertheless she did not speak to reporters, leaving that to the Emperor and Consensus.
“Minifigs have no fear, tanks won’t be making a habit of rolling onto the streets”, the Emperor said cheerfully. “Increased national stability and security is all we seek from these talks”, he explained, adding that, “I’m optimistic we can avoid any conflict between the state and immigrants”.
Consensus also weighed in when some reporters suggested that the reason tanks were not deployed was due to the ongoing increases in the price of fuel. “To imply that the might of Legoland relies on the Octan and Shell petroleum production rates is utter baloney”, he said.
Meanwhile, The Legoland Times can report that the secret police have arrested and are questioning over 20 minifigs, many believed to be immigrants, who were “loitering” around government builings and looked “suspicious”.
The STAMPA made the arrests just minutes before the LEGOVision Song Contest began after reports from the public came in that figs with weird eyes and hairstyles were hanging around some of the capital’s most high-profile buildings.