New Year party on ice for Mayor Fig as he is forced to deny he received Mafia bribes

Legoland Town Mayor Mr Trusty Fig has hit out at leaked Legoland County Council documents that reveal there are highly detailed plans to tear down much of Legoland Town’s existing buildings in January 2008.

The documents show plans for the construction of high-rise office blocks and note that these are all on the request of top businesses in Legoland City. It is understood that some of the nation’s biggest companies, including Canco and Legoda, wish to relocate their Head Quarters to the town to avoid the traffic problems and high rents in the capital.

The alleged plans are at an advanced stage it appears and this has sent fear through many residents of Legoland Town. Residents Mrs Anxious Semi-Spasticous and her husband Curious, who occupy the Holiday Villa, explained that the news has hit a raw stud in the local minifig populace.

“We don’t want Legoland Town to lose its history as a suburban town.We don’t want to become like Dalam”. Dalam, a drug, crime, and bum ridden suburb in East Legoland City, was raised to the ground on the orders of the Government on the 9th of December 2006 and subsequently flooded by a diverted Lego River as it had turned into an embarrassment to Legoland state.

According to an unnamed source, believed to be RTE TV anchor Bosco, the County Council will move to demolish more or less all single story buildings in Legoland Town with the exception of the Shell service station. The town’s ancient Castle walls may also be altered to allow “progress”.

The news follows reports that the Government will sanction a record £170m expenditure on new Lego in January. Last weekend, the Government confirmed that it would be spending £67m on new Lego imports however this figure is expected to nearly triple as the Emperor has personally released new funds.

Meanwhile, Mayor Fig told reporters he was never paid any money by the Hole Heads crime gang to oppose the Council plans. It followed suggestions by some politicians that he was being paid by criminals to prevent any development in the area. Mayor Fig called these “made-up lies” to “distract minifigs attention from the Council’s own criminal actions”.

The Empire Police earlier this month announced that Legoland Town had become the new home for many Hole Heads members who had fled Dalam. The influence and control on local politics may even reach the corridors of power in the town hall the police warned.

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