Emperor wishes himself well as Republic prepares for a Christmas without God

Emperor David of the Legoland Imperial Republic has wished himself and all loyal minifigs well in the forth coming year and for the Christmas holiday. Speaking at the Winter Palace in Legoland City, the revered leader called on Legomen of all persuasions to “come together in peace at their local army recruitment centres”. “It’s important that our military is strong next year with the rise of dangerous movements in other nations”, he added.

In a more serious part of the speech, the Emperor confirmed that he will be leaving Legoland on Christmas Eve to take a foreign holiday. “I might go skiing”, he stated. The Emperor’s absence is expected to see news from Legoland halt until around January 5th when he is scheduled to return.

Legoland is gearing itself up for a bonanza Christmas and New Year with the Government having promised over £170m worth of new Lego imports over the next few weeks, imports largely funded by the Emperor’s personal fortune.

The state will however be having a less than religious festive season after last September’s decision to ban God under the Act Of Common Sense. The worship and practice of any God or religion is now prohibited under the law. In September, the Government confirmed that those found guilty of breaking it are likely to face a job interview with their local slavery employer.

Meanwhile, both Legoland Air and Legoland Rail have apologised to minifigs who have experienced delays at the nation’s airports and railway stations. Legoland Air CEO Genius Airbus said that the airline expected to see nearly 100 minifigs pass through its airports over the next few days and said delays were unpreventable. “It’s a great time of the year for us, we make lots of cash”, he boasted.

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