Hundreds of Lego minifigs are preparing to celebrate the 16th Anti Ken Association Day tomorrow with massive parties taking place throughout Legoland.
The annual celebration commemorates the 1991 7th July execution of notorious mini-fig, and leader of Kenland, Ken. Ken was sentenced to death by Emperor David after the aforementioned ponce (Ken) was found guilty of annoying the Emperor. Ken himself chose the 7th July as his day to meet his maker.
Ken’s execution was arguably the most gruesome of any in the history of Legoland, and the most popular. The killing process took nearly a full day and involved Ken facing the firing squad, Ken being run over by a train, and Ken being fed to sharks.
The Anti Ken Association was set-up in advance of the execution day and has organised the subsequent anniversary celebrations which have become over the years Legoland’s favourite national holiday. This is partly due to the tradition of re-executing Ken and celebrating with huge rock concerts that attract some of the top bands in the world.
This year however, no rock concert will be held in Legoland City due to security fears after last February’s massive car bomb attacks on the capital which left 23 dead. The AKA had hoped of hosting the largest rock band concert of all time feature a huge selection of bands.
Meanwhile, the Empire Police have confirmed the seizure a huge shipment of crack cocaine with an estimated street value of nearly £2m. The cache was intercepted as it was being smuggled into Legoland harbour by suspected members of the Hole Heads crime syndicate.
The authorities confirmed that three minifigs have been arrested. The AKA denied that AKA Day is just an excuse for Lego people to take drugs and get drunk and act the maggot. “We don’t believe that Lego people act any differently on the 7th July than they do on any other day” said spokeswoman Kate Mosshead.