Ronald McDonald confirms security beefed up at Lego McDonald’s outlets

The owner of restaurant chain, McDonald’s, has announced that the company will be improving security at its two outlets in the Legoland Republic following constant vandalism.

The firm is looking to hire four plain clothes security staff to guard the restaurant franchises in Legoland City and Legoland Town. Mr McDonald said that the security will act as a deterrent and first line of defence against the vandals who are usually drunken football fans on the rampage.

According to McDonald, the new staff will immediately call the Empire Police for back-up if any incident occurs, and they will not carry weapons.

The Financial Times reported recently that profits at the company are being hit severely by the cost of fixing damaged glass window panes at the two restaurants. Battling the explosion of the “McDonald’s bashing” phenomenon, which occurred first in the 1990s, is a priority for McDonald’s said Mr McDonald.

“The simply fact is, the customer is not always right, and one cannot buy a happy meal and expect to be allowed smash in our windows”, he claimed unconvincingly, adding that, “smashing windows is a criminal offence and it is actually not a sport recognised by the International Lego Olympic Committee”.

Meanwhile glass firm, Glass And Young (GAY), have said that they may have to lay off some GAY workers if the McDonald’s action proves successful. In a bleak announcement, GAY said they were saddened at the McDonald’s project but they said that GAY retained some hope that there would be a “happy medium for both GAY and McDonald’s”.

In somewhat related news, the Empire Police have requested further funding from the government in the upcoming budget. Empire Police Chief, Biggus Piggus, said that more money was needed to build up the Republic’s security forces.

“There is no doubt that crime is on the increase and the government need to allocate resources to fight the problem”, Mr Piggus said. It is understood that the Empire Police are looking to purchase another two riot prison vans at a total cost of approximately £40m.