The Empire Police have announced today that a man has been arrested in connection with the murder of three policemen in December of last year. The three policemen were gunned down near Legoland Town with the organised crime gang the Hole Heads admitting responsibility shortly afterwards.
According to the Empire Police, the unnamed suspect is a reportedly a 25 year old Casteland man who fits the description of one of the attackers. “We believe we have our man” said Piggus Anus, overweight spokesman for the police. “He clearly has a hole in his head and looks fairly dodgy with a beard and all”. The authorities are confident that the man’s capture will lead to further arrests. The police are positive that the fatal December ambush involved “at least” three “dodgy looking characters”.
However, according to PigEye, the independent police watchdog, the Empire Police may not have “their man”. A statement from PigEye accused the Empire Police of arresting the man so as to be seen to be clamping down hard on the perpetrators. “Let’s face it, it’s not uncommon for Lego policemen to make arrests for public relations reasons” the statement said.
Meanwhile, the right-wing Legoland First (LF) political party has called on the government to execute any members of the nations top crime gangs. LF hot-head Mario Faran claimed that “groups like the Hole Heads, Shaven Heads and Legoland Mafia are ripping the capital city apart through drug pushing, fraudulent activities and mass theft”. According to Mr Faran the only effective way of stopping these gangs is by “shooting them”.